Tag Archives: trust

Bring it on!

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It’s been a minute since I’ve written.  Life has been incredibly chaotic, for a while now.  Maybe longer than awhile, maybe for years.  Yes.  Definitely for years.  And when I reflect on the chaos, the constant challenges with my house, my job, my adult children, my health, and, and, and, I realize… Hey, wait a second.  This is life. For whatever reason, I have had the privilege of being presented with a new challenge fairly regularly for a lifetime, and ya know what?  I’m meeting those challenges.  So, should I be taunting the Universe with a Bring It On?  Hmmm, maybe, maybe not.

My youngest son and I went out for breakfast this morning.  He’s a senior web developer for a company that works with musicians, and in his spare time, an avid gamer.  I’m a techie in my own right, working freelance as a content writer, college student coach, and sometime virtual assistant.  So the two of us often talk tech and games, new software and gadgets.  This morning we were gabbing about a recent purchase I made, an amplified TV antenna.  The previous one was worn and broken.  I use it to catch local stations rather than paying for cable.  And if there’s something not on mainstream TV that I want to see, I’ll catch it on Hulu or Netflix, or some other reasonably priced service instead of paying crazy money for a bundle of stations I’ll never use.

Well, the new antenna arrived… ordered from Walmart.  (I rarely buy from them, but found it online, with decent reviews a”nd thought why not?)  The product box, neatly packaged with padding inside a larger box, was misshapen, had obviously been beat up, stomped on and reassembled (the box, not the product), and did not have the original instruction pamphlet.  The product itself, amazingly, was in good condition… but didn’t work.  So.  Even though it’s been an incredibly busy morning, I am just ticked off enough to get in the car and drive out to the local Walmart store.  About halfway there, I thought, “Geez, I feel like I’m sleep-driving (kinda like sleep-walking),” but I persevered.  I can do this!

At the store, of course there is a long line in the customer service area.  Swaying a little while I’m standing, wondering if anyone can notice, I consider turning around and going home, but again, I persevere.  I can do this! “I definitely need coffee!”  Finally, it’s my turn.  I bring the product, nicely taped, with the receipt to the counter.  The customer service representative searches online with my customer number, and after some time has passed says, “Oh, this is a Marketplace purchase, I cannot take this back without the box it came in.”

“You’re holding it,” I say.

“No ma’am, the original box.  The box it was packed and shipped to you in,” she replies.  Seriously.  You’ve got to be kidding.  For real?  I thanked her and walked away, too tired and feeling somewhat defeated.  I knew I didn’t have the energy to argue or ask for a supervisor, to make a scene, or to hold up the ever-growing line behind me.

I got in the car, drove home, printed a return label from their website and drove it over to the shipping store on the corner by my house.  They didn’t ship FedEx.  Really?  I must have had a “look” on my face.  He directed me to the one down the street a few miles, “Not too far,” he said sympathetically. I really must have had that look.  Back in the car, I headed to the FedEx store.  Success!  The young gentlemen behind the counter looked at the package, scanned the label, and asked, “Contents?”

“A TV antenna,” I replied.

“They still make those?” He grinned.

“Yes. They’ve become popular for those of us who don’t want to pay for local stations.” I reply, feeling just a little bit ancient.  But what do I care?  Works for me.

Back to the discussion with my youngest son.  We often discuss how life is just waiting to pounce, could be good, could be sucky, or could be indifferent, but it’s going to pounce all the same.  Today, while describing the events… I said, “It’s just like the old SIMS games you kids played years ago.  Somebody chose this scenario for me and the drop-down box included, “Customer service rep refuses to accept return.  Must have original shipping box. (bwahahahaha)”  SIMS is a life simulation video game.

I remember one time years ago, the oldest boys were playing the game and had built this gorgeous house, complete with big screen TV’s, stereo’s, a pool, all the conveniences.  Unexpectedly, because that’s how life works even with SIMS, a fire started in the kitchen.  They had spent all their “money” on the best conveniences, and didn’t have a fire extinguisher.  So the house burned down.

There are no “fires” in my life today.  Today’s a better day.  It’s a sleepy one around here, albeit a little weird in the weather department because they’ve predicted 3 to 8 inches of snow.  (Another drop-down menu choice?)  No one is sick, there are no family emergencies, my freelance work is done for the week, and I can nap while the crazy enormous snow flakes fall to the ground.  The Universe has been kind.  And with reflection on yesterday’s series of events, the conversation with my son today, and the quietness of right now, in the moment, I think, “What’s next Universe?  Bring it on!  But, one request, can you reprogram those drop-down choices to something really, really good?  Like fun, happy, YEAH, good?”

Thanks.  Yours sincerely,

ME

We are more than this…

 

Do you pay attention to your inner senses?

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Do you have déjà vu’s?   It means “already seen” in French.  Have you had premonitions of what will be and then it happened?  Do you pay attention to what you’re intuition, your inner senses are telling you?

I have what I’ve come to call “flash forwards.”  They are rapid pictures of what will unfold… fast quick flashes, much like a slide show, each a diorama of what will occur.  There’s typically a trigger that brings on the flash of knowings.  This “skill,” for lack of a better word, started mid-July 2014.  Completely conscious, I will in mind’s eye flash forward to possibilities/probabilities that exist in relation to the person(s) I might be speaking with, or if alone, in relation to my own life-path.

The first occurrence happened while I was speaking with a gentleman I’ve known for 20 plus years.  Standing in my family room, he spotted the series of young adult sci-fi fiction books in my bookcase and asked if his daughter could borrow one of them.  “Of course,” I replied, pulling the book off the shelf and handing it to him.  As he took the book, both of us each holding a side, I “saw” a series of events that would occur between us.  Disoriented, it took great effort to focus on what he was saying in the present, and be in the events of what would unfold, all existing at once.  After he’d left, I wrote out what I had retained thinking, “No, this wouldn’t happen, I don’t understand how these circumstances would ever occur.”  And I put it aside after a few days, going on with everyday life not giving the inner mind slideshow another thought… until everything I had seen unfolded in reality just two months later.

In November, 2014 another flash-forward occurred, this time involving the unfolding of experiences that would affect a friend’s life.  I was not directly involved in the events.  I told her what I had seen, and advised her to take the information to heart, to make the appropriate changes where needed.  The events unfolded that December just as I had “known” them to unfold, with some major consequences affecting her life-path.  Because she had not made the recommended changes, the results were unpleasant.  The ability to see what would occur had now extended out to others lives, not just mine.

Many flash forwards have occurred since, some pleasant, some unpleasant.  I have learned to pay attention and if necessary, make different choices where needed before the actual events occur, consequently changing the outcome.  This skill is different than seeing someone’s past or sensing someone’s physical illness, which has been a life-long skill-set.  This particular ability provides instant knowing, with one catch.  It’s not something I can do at will.  This occurs randomly, as if the Universe is handing me a filmstrip ahead of time saying, “Here, this is going to happen, and if you make a conscious choice, it will turn out differently.  Pay attention.  Don’t disregard.  Be prepared.”

So I pay attention.  Another flash forward occurred this last Thursday.  I had picked up four ceramic coasters of Lake Superior that my bff from Wisconsin had gifted me… it was a trigger.  I flashed forward to being involved in a relationship (which I am not currently in).  I could not see him, but felt and saw events unfold quickly leading to the intersection where this relationship would manifest.  It felt fantastic.   Even though these flashes of knowing have been ongoing for several years, they always leave me in awe.  I’ve stopped doubting myself and to trust what I feel and see.  Let’s see what this new adventure holds!

What’s your experience with gut feelings, inner senses, or premonitions?

We are more than this…

 

 

Trust Without Borders

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Wow what a ride!  This life journey sure is a blast.  Took a minute for me to get to this place of acceptance and yep, discovery.  It’s a whole new world for me (I sound like Jasmine from Disney’s Aladdin… wait let me get my flying carpet out).  

Didn’t think I had it in me to make such major life changes, especially being 63 and all.  But who says we can’t do, learn, become more than this in the senior years of our lives? (and what’s considered senior nowadays?)  No one.  It’s our own perspective and the limits we set on ourselves.  

Health challenges pushed me out of the comfort zone into the unknown.  Oh no!  Let me just say, this Pollyanna chicklet was freaking out.  (and maybe sometimes I still do a little, for a few seconds when I wake up in the middle of the night and think what the he**)! 

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When I relax into the web of knowing, into trust of Spirit and All That Is, I do OK.  So far, every need has been met.  Every.  Single.  Thing.  The right doctors, the right tests, a work-from-home job I can do in my p.j.’s.  And not just any job, it’s a job that not only uses my writing and blogging skills, but allows me creative freedom (this is very cool).  I work in the sunny south windows with my trusty sidekick Francis aka “Frankie” the long-haired chihuahua, sipping hot chocolate from Penzy’s (the best) and snacking on tasty Envy apple slices.  Oh yah. 

Let it Be (John Lennon), Be Here Now (Ram Dass), Que Sera Sera (Doris Day) and of course my favorite We Are More Than This…  Trust without borders. 

And All Is Well

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Earth Angel by Josephine Wall

 

A member of the community I work for passed away last week. It’s a small community where each member has known the other for years and years… Close-knit and interwoven, there is a hole now where she once was. Ever faithful, loving and kind, she is missed by all.

Living consciously as both Spirit and physical being, I know with conviction that only her body is gone. She lives on, a being unique in character who now flows as one with Spirit, God, all-encompassing Love. My intuitive and clairaudient gifts kicked in the morning she died.  I was hanging laundry and sensed she had passed. I wondered if I should call my colleagues. I didn’t, instead I left to run errands. Jumping out of the car at the store I felt her with me and an encompassing, exuberant joy, “Tell them I am pain-free and happy,” I heard inwardly.  No way, I thought back to her. I’m emotionally involved in this. I’m not saying a word. With inner speak I said, “I’ll tell you what, if you really have something you’d like me to pass on, provide a dream, something someone will get and understand.”

That evening I saw a movie with a friend, cleaned up the kitchen and hit the pillows early. And yes, my request was provided. In the dream, I found myself hovering over the chapel where the wake and funeral were taking place for the woman who had died. In flowing energy form, I was with the woman who had died and a group of others who were accompanying us. There was no time so all seemed to be happening at once, the preparations, wake and funeral, a very odd concept when not in the dream or meditative state.

The wake was beautiful and wonderfully attended and the funeral very nicely done. Everything ran very smoothly. As we observed there were thoughts exchanged, speech was not necessary, “You see all is well,”  I was told. Then, I was instructed to let someone in particular know that she needn’t be anxious to get the wake and funeral details done immediately, that she should complete the other things needing attention first and then get to the business of the wake and funeral. Because you see, “it was all going to be fine anyway so what was the use of worrying, why bother fretting over it?”

I lingered with the group for what seemed like a long time and was shown other events that would unfold over the next short period of time. And drat! Those are the pieces I wanted to remember and couldn’t. I brought back only the most vivid of  images and knew I had to pass on the message. I sent a quick text to the intended party and went about getting the work day started. Once I arrived at the office and was settled in, I checked e-mail and sure enough, there was a notice letting us know she had passed away the morning of the previous day.

Like everyone else I am sad she’s no longer with us, but I know with every ounce of my being that she lives on. What stays with me most from the time in the dream state with these loving souls are the moments of great joy and the desire to reassure the living that “all is well and not to fret.”   My spiritual experiences and life journey have brought me to this dual existence where physical and spiritual energy operate simultaneously.  I feel blessed and fortunate to have been provided with such gifts. What dear reader would help you to know that we are more than this?”

“We are participants in a vast communion of being, and if we open ourselves to its guidance, we can learn anew how to live in this great and gracious community of truth.” ~ Parker Palmer

Living Your Purpose

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amazing-736885_1280Peace has been elusive since well before fall exploded into full color, faded away and winter began. I know I live as a physical representation of God. I know that all who walk the Earth are my brothers and sisters, that we are connected as one in Spirit. I know that all is provided for me here as physical. Still I am restless and left with a want I can barely identify and desires that have no meaning in this physical world.

I voiced my feelings of unrest with close friends this week. Their response,”Stand still, clarity will come to you, whether it is to stay and the frustrations [are] momentary or [you receive] an answer to your next step and the path you should take.” Another said, “You need to have…the freedom to be you.  You like to write, help people, dance, take care of your family.  Do those but have a job that supports it… a meditation center, a place people could go before/after work or during lunches.  You could step people through a process.”

She’s right. He’s right. I feel valuable skills, abilities and talents are put aside while I go about the business of supporting a family. Mother, friend and worker bee, I, just like any other person living on the Earth carry responsibilities through every nook and cranny of life. So what is the answer to this unquiet? I am fully awake wanting to share, to live with purpose.

In his book, “There’s a Spiritual Solution To Every Problem,” Wayne Dyer talks about moving to purpose:

“The true joy of living is in allowing the higher energies of spirit to guide your life. In this state of awareness, you never have to ask what your purpose is or how to find it. Instead you feel purposeful in everything you do, and you bring that kind of joy to all that you encounter. It will not matter whether you are weeding your garden, reading a novel…driving through traffic…or meditating in silence. You will be the bringer of joy because you are in harmony rather than in conflict with God…the irony is that you will find that the surest way to get to that state of inner joyful purpose is by giving it all away.” p. 247

The remedy for my unquiet is to recognize that within the day-to-day responsibilities of my being a mom, friend and worker bee, I AM purpose. Completely connected, living dual reality, I realize the higher energies Dyer writes of already paint the days with cooking, cleaning, having coffee with friends, creating an excel spreadsheet or walking through the woods. This is purpose. Being alive, living fully. Now…time to get moving on that mediation center! We are more than this…

A Wellspring for Love

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Rejoice and be glad! Living collectively with Spirit, even while a physical being means we experience the presence of Spirit ever-flowing through us. We are a method and means to act as a wellspring for bringing peace, love and joy to others in the world.

My own experience has proven this. As I allow the spiritual side to rise from the interior to exterior I have more confidence and ability to share my gifts. There is less fear as the needed tools appear. I am provided for in every way. As author Eugene Holden, RScP states,” It is important to understand that our needs are met so that we may be free to touch lives in our own special way.”

Holden continues with:

“The more we surrender to this life, the life of God, the more we are lifted to be the guiding light of the Divine. There will never be any reason to fear. This world that has emerged through and as us knows exactly where it is going, and it knows what we need. Now is the time to trust. Trust that you are the beloved of God. All that God has is yours. More could not be given than that which has been given from the foundations of the Universe.” ~ December 2012 SOM, p. 61

My September dreams had predicted challenges, a bit of a living tornado coming along clipping at my stability, however the dreams also predicted that despite the hit, there would be only a slight impact. And so it unfolded. I find myself in an unexpected place in life. A couple of my adult children have returned home needing assistance with health challenges, financial situations or relationship issues. I was cruising along with my youngest in tow looking toward the future where it was just me and a small condo.

Alas, it is not to be, at least not just yet. However my experience during this time has been that when the need appears for one of my darlings, abundance and choice is not far behind. The more I surrender, allowing the Divine to take the lead, the less fear I experience for my children and for myself. Repeatedly I am asked to trust that all will be well, even when what surrounds me threatens to throw me out of sync.

Acting as a wellspring for Spirit, trusting with conviction that we are the beloved of God is resulting in the manifestation of ways and means, and with great delight I find that all is as it should be. This is not myth or magic, it’s truth. Test it. Allow and trust Spirit to flow through you. Believe that we are more than this…

Listen Once Again

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Sea of Serenity

 

This morning while driving to the office, I found myself pondering doing so much for others and so little in the way of caring for myself. Y’all know what I preach…practice self-nurtuting, practice living mindfully, practice meditation, practice being one-with-Spirit. And really I do most of this, but when super busy and that autopiolot takes over, I lose making those daily conscious decisions that will ensure I’m taking care of me throughout the day.

Parenting, working full-time, being a caring friend to those I hold so dear, I find there is no second thought given to the needs presented before me, in fact no thought. I’m a natural-born nurturer through and through as are many of my friends (you know who you are). If this blog post caught your eye, you are probably a caretaker who walks with love and compassion for all others with little attention given to your own needs. Be sure of this…Spirit walks with you in every step and you are blessed.

There can be no doubt that in order to continue walking in love and compassion, we must also care for and nurture ourselves, for if we push the limits of our own capacity there will most likely be a wake-up call in store. Stress turns into all kinds of things, colds, headaches, body pain, sleeplessness, irritability, anger. Catch yourself before you fall, take care of you, especially if you intend to keep being that blessed presence in the lives of others. With the Holidays upon us it’s important that we get back on track. Today I offer a portion of the poem, “a sense of her feelings,” from Judith Duerk’s book Circle of Stones. The author speaks to learned behaviors cultivated in women and the need for us to listen to our own needs. Although the words speak of the feminine, this can most certainly be applied to men as well. I personally know several men who are caretakers through and through, these words must also speak to you:

“Woman has learned to ignore her own feeling needs, learned to be a ‘good sport’ hurrying along in a pressure-filled, production-oriented life. She has learned to brush her feelings aside as she pushes ahead for university honors, to pack them out of her briefcase as she heads, in a three-piece suit into the professional and political realm.

But somewhere, deep inside, is the image of a woman seated alone, in a beehive tomb, within the earth, weeping.

What if woman allowed herself to listen once again to her own sensitivities? What if she allowed herself to trust what her tears are trying to tell her?

No…not this way…No…your life has no meaning lived this way. No…No…Slow down. Rest. Fill the kettle slowly. Listen! as the water in its slender stream flows down to fill the waiting kettle.”

Honor yourself with self-nurturing. Listen and fill the kettle slowly. We are more than this…