Tag Archives: spirit

Conscious Decision Making

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Life By Design nl

 

In February 2013, I had a lucid dream experience where I was consciously creating in the fabric of space and time. I was present before the canvas of matter creating images with thoughts and gestures. Since 2013, there have been many mornings when I’ve actually awakened with my arms and hands up in the air gesturing as if I am still creating from the “other” side of the fabric, spirit body on that side, physical body on this side. I know that with regular practice through meditation, lucid dreaming and conscious awareness, I can change day-to-day physical reality creating a more desirable, joy-filled life-path. As a mystic, I know that we are, we live, simultaneously as both source-self (spiritual being) and the physical manifested self, experiencing life. One might look at the physical self as an avatar of sorts, a vehicle that allows us to experience living out all sorts of adventures through a physical body! In short, we live between two worlds.

Naturally and unconsciously through choice, we have created daily experiences using thought and action. However, many of us are thinking, acting, and creating experiences running on “autopilot,” allowing life to occur, to just happen… and as a result, often left wondering why things aren’t quite the way we’d prefer. How do we create change?

The simple answer is to turn off the autopilot. To be mindful of thoughts and consequent actions. To take responsibility for, and examine the choices made… and then choose differently where possible. We can create a new reality, with conscious mindful thought, conscious mindful decisions, conscious mindful planning, and conscious mindful action.

Will daily life then be picture perfect? I can say from experience that it will not because some of the choices made up until now have resulted in the experiences each of us are currently living through. However, I can say it will be better and that circumstances can be changed. Life is better because you will have become fully engaged. Daily life events are no longer just happening to you because you will have become a conscious, mindful, active, participant in its creation.

How to start? Over the next couple of months, each week I will introduce a set of self-exploration exercises to assist in becoming mindful of current life situations, where your focus has been, where it’s at today, how to make time for self-nurturing, and how to manage time and plan mindfully. These simple no-nonsense self-discovery activities are meant to be used over and over as you cycle through decisions, discover new facets of self, choose goals and take steps toward change. These activities have been used in workshops for over twenty years, basic, tried and true.  They are focused, personal, and will nudge you toward self-nurturing, as well as personal and spiritual growth. Next week: Module One – “Primary Caretakers.”

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Never Broken, She Persisted

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Centered

I am a vivid dreamer, able to fill dream journals with pages and pages of dreams, many about myself, sometimes about others, and still other dream stories are about the country or world events.  When I have a particular dilemma or question about life, I will write it in my dream journal and wait for an answer.

Recently without prompting or questions, I dreamt that I was working with a team of people creating life experiences for a woman.  The events were meant to challenge her in every way, experience after experience, one after another, sometimes more than one occurring on top of another.  Layer after layer, one upon another, complex and highly intense. Each experience meant to peel and pull, to break away the characteristics of the woman… Until she was clean… Until she was clear and transparent… Ready to begin again.

The woman was never broken, instead she persisted.  She allowed and accepted.  She went through the experiences one after another, layer upon layer from the beginning to the now. Throughout the peeling and pulling breaking down process she came to be free… Free from the burdens each experience had brought forth in memories.

Now, she appeared before us all like calm waters, crystal-clear and accepting… Childlike in that she was now a vessel for what newness would begin. As I rose from the dream feeling indifferent, I thought it was just a dream about a woman.  But it wasn’t about just a woman.  I realized it was me.  I am this woman.  I am naked, clean, soul stripped bare, transparent, empty and calm, ready for the new beginnings that lay ahead.

Yes, I am — Let it begin.

Living Grace

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Angel of Grace & Beauty by Mairin Gilmartin

We’re in the midst of it all, the middle of life, people orbiting around, some of whom may be having a tough day and so snap at you when you’ve asked a question, or someone who’s unhappy because things didn’t go the way they had planned and you’re taking the brunt of it, or a child who’s loaded with homework and is grumpy, or a partner or spouse who lost out on an opportunity. Yup, right smack in the middle of it.

Ah, but you dear reader are Grace manifested, so you know to stay in the peace, the calm, to stay in your own moment allowing others to be responsible for their anxiety, anger, sadness or frustration. Yes, they own their experiences, they do not belong to you. Living as part of the Spirit Collective you will of course provide that listening ear, supportive shoulder, and comforting presence, you’ll be there offering Grace, it’s part of your life purpose. We are more than this…

“And now in all your doings be you blessed. God turns to you for help to save the wold. Teacher of God, His thanks He offers you, and all the world stands silent in the Grace you bring from Him. You are the Son He loves, and it is given you to be the means through which His Voice is heard around the world, to close all things of time; to end the sight of all things visible; and to undo all things that change. Through you is ushered in a world unseen, unheard, yet truly there. Holy are you, and in your light the world reflects your holiness, for you are not alone and friendless. I give thanks for you, and join your efforts on behalf of God, knowing they are on my behalf as well, and for all those who walk to God with me.” ~ Helen Schucman and Willam Thetford, A Course in Miracles

Between Two Worlds

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As a child I was accepted by my family with all of the unusual ghost-seeing, aura reading and knowing what would happen when skills. It was our way of life. Moving through adulthood it became more of a challenge for me. It was necessary to interact with people other than family members. In More Than This, I talked about being a teen with psychic abilities, getting married, having children and letting the skills fall to the wayside while on the fast path. When life events started to slow a bit in the mid-90’s, the abilities resurfaced without warning and in a most unusual way.

My girlfriend Nan and I had been visiting a new church. We decided to try out for a production they were hosting along with our kids just for fun. The evening of try-outs, I stayed after to talk with the Pastor to thank him for choosing us for parts in the play and to share with him how I felt this would be a great experience for my family. I reached out, shook hands with him while introducing myself and the children and in a split second, inwardly I saw a different image of him with very red eyes and puffed face. He’s sick. He has heart disease, he needs a doctor and now. It was as if I had stepped into him. I felt the labor of his breathing, the heaviness of his heart and the tiredness. All the time, I went on speaking, thanking him again and saying goodnight.

After a rough night of tossing and turning, I decided to call the Pastor. I knew he needed to see his health professional as soon as possible. Talking with him on the phone, I explained who I was and that I’d had this nagging feeling since we’d shook hands the night before that his health may not be good. I told him he needed to see his doctor and asked if he’d been feeling ok. He confessed he’d been experiencing some shoulder pain and soreness and asked what kind of health problem I sensed. I told him I felt it was heart-related. He thanked me and promised he’d follow-up with a doctor.

Within weeks he was diagnosed with heart disease and had an angioplasty. He ate the right foods, exercised and trimmed down. This was 1995. Three years later, he died suddenly of a heart attack.  Maybe the warning added the three years to his life, I don’t know. The church continued to grow and is now one of the largest churches in the midwest.

This was the rebirth of living a blended life of both spiritual and physical worlds. I knew I could trust what I saw and heard inwardly. At the start it was tough raising children alone, working a full-time job and teaching part-time. Living immersed in the physical with the intuitive abilities resurfacing could be challenging. After shaking someone’s hand, patting their back or placing my hand on a shoulder, I felt the other person’s world and mine. It’s taken years to interpret what feelings and images are mine and what belongs to someone else.

Over the last two years I’ve experienced an immense growth spurt in intuitive ability and healing. Working and caring for family remains my number one priority, but as life’s dust settles, I’ve had the ability to set aside time to meditate, study, discuss, and develop. Each day now includes quiet, mindful walking, music that calms the soul or reading materials that nudge the Spirit. Living between two worlds has become very comfortable.  My dreams tell me there is more to come. I’m ready.

Every person is capable of consciously connecting with the Whole and experiencing intuitive or empathic skills. We are all a drop in the big ocean of Spirit Collective, each very distinct and beautiful. It’s a life-choice, a life journey where listening to your inner voice becomes a way of life. Where compassion for others, living with integrity, and loving acceptance is a daily practice. Come and walk with me, we are more than this…

“May you shine bright today, within your own circles and outside them, on that moving million-footed pavement where life gathers and hums, wherever love has appointments today. Illumine your world. Be submissive and watching, innocent and courageous. And may love in you be so evolved, so articulate, so at home, so practiced, so easy, so weightless, so clear and so accessible that others may warm themselves in it’s illuminating and inviting glow.”  ~ David Teems, 2004

Weekend Confessions

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Walk Together in Spirit

 

Sister cousin and I have what we call our weekly “confession” with each other. We have no boundaries after having created this safe place where we can ponder, spout wisdom-like statements and fix all that the world has brought our way in these last seven days.

Today we talked about growing up fear-filled in childhood homes that were often loud and violent. She and I have resolved much of the fear over these many years of growing up and older, still there is a bit of residual stuff that hangs onto our bones, somewhat embedded, not wanting to let go.

While in the midst of trading stories of the week, there was a profound moment of realization. Very clearly I saw images of these bony fear-based attachments and the effect they have on my current relationship with others. Before me lay the anxiety, nervousness and skittish fear of wanting to feel not only accepted but also loved by the people I have allowed onto the path of my life. And yes, I did say allow. Recent years have provided enough wisdom to know that those who are toxic will bring toxicity with them, so I no longer walk with those people. The life path is easier to walk when you consciously choose who you will walk with and where you will walk to.

Experienced events are woven into our flesh and bones, and our Spirits. They are what protect us and move us forward, but they are also what hold us back in fear. What voice do you hear that tells you can’t do something, better yet, who’s voice? As a youngster, when we came home from school my mother would give all nine of us an afternoon snack, get us settled and head to the couch for a short nap before cooking dinner. My father, who was often home by 4:00 would walk into the house and immediately begin his tirade, “Get your fat ass up off the couch! Why the hell are you sleeping in the middle of the day?” We ran in fear. My mother would wearily get up from the couch to start dinner. Raising nine children alone is no small feat. She was, is my hero.

I write of this one experience because that voice, his voice, echos in my head when I sit down to meditate and pray, when I hang out on the deck to watch the birds, when I sit on a park bench in the prairie or when I just plain sit. As a child, I wondered if I would get fat if I took a nap during the day. During today’s confession, when the discussion about the voices that brought fear into our lives came up, I recalled images, deciphered how I felt and resolved to make a change in how it affects my relationships with others in the present. All of this was done in a matter of seconds. It was the conscious recognition of the words and images. It was the grace of Spirit moving through the spoken word to find resolution.

Today, find a “confession” buddy and set a time each week to talk and listen with each other, a sister, friend, cousin, mother, brother, father, partner. The keys for effectiveness are no judgement, a listening ear, and safe “place” to speak thoughts and feelings.

Spirit as Family

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Awakening Women FB Page – Conscious Partnering

 

 

I’ve shared stories of being an intuitive, of experiences and visions, of knowing the path I’ve traveled was meant to bring me here writing for you. Each day when I sit to write I know the subject will appear on these pages just as they should.

With an open mind and heart, the greater Spirit moves me to the stack of journals, scraps of paper, drawings, poetry or sometimes I can see and hear it all inside so it rolls out on to the page. Today a flash appeared across my mind about relationships and family, that it might be the right subject for today.

I grabbed the art book I thought might hold some family events and dreams hoping to find a good piece. Trusting that all would be provided…that God, Spirit, All That Is knows what I need, opening the book, without intention the pages fell to a dream written, exactly the story I had in my mind just minutes earlier. I share this with you because it is meant to be…

September 2, 2011 – 1:20 a.m.

In between asleep and awake state I wrote:

“I woke from a dream of the most real and deepest sadness – I was divorcing my husband (in the dream there are no faces, it was all concepts and informational images).  The reality or landscape of the dream involved the all families as representatives of the Whole trying to recreate that atmosphere of family, of connectedness after divorce. There were images of  having similar toys in both homes, activities and routines trying to be recaptured, despite the very great divide of what had been a state of unity at one time  – I did not sense great love, but instead a jagged tear into the “whole” family unit that would not, could not be duplicated or exist as  same in two separate places,  despite every effort and desire to make it so. This was heartbreakingingly sad.

In this dream there was a reference to the bodily illnesses, to the discomforts humanity feels as a direct result of the pain felt within, of experiencing such deep sadness, and a longing for any other feelings than what we are holding, I had an inner awakening. There was an intense and very profound recognition of what Spirit’s intention was and is for family and relationships and the very different reality manifesting here in the physical world.

This wasn’t just my family feeling such sadness, but all who have experienced these same life events. Others who have dismantled the family unit, divided husbands and wives, partners and partners, children left in fragmented existence, bewildered and insecure. The tear in families and relationships are events the Spirit Collective, the Whole that is all of us, mourn deeply.

I woke sitting up in bed crying real tears of sad, sad, sad. Tears and sadness for all affected…for mothers who work so hard to pick up the pieces, for fathers who try to recreate daily existence for themselves and their children, and for the children as individuals of the whole that exists here on Earth who suffer just as much. There is no escaping the very real rips and tears, no escape from the jagged broken lives that result as these relationships appear to amicably divide and fall from the unit of one complete dynamic.

Women and men pretend it doesn’t hurt, that they can’t feel – truly it is in numbness that we walk away from each other, husband from wife, wife from husband, partner from partner, with no conscious understanding that what has occurred is of such depth, so shattering, felt into the very SOUL of oneness, unaware that this connected unit will never again be capable of duplication.

As I write these words feeling the collective pain of families, of moms and dads, brothers and sisters, grandparents and all members that make up such an organism of strength, regardless of dysfunction or strife that may have existed, I weep giant tears of sadness for us all, for we have lost the ability to step out of independent righteousness. We have lost the ability to recognize, value and hold what was built out of great love, and not just Earthly love, but the love that is greater than this. We, you and I as human, we have allowed it to fall away, slip, drown, gone now, replaced by broken emptiness looking for a way to create what once was.”

These words rushed out in a hazy sleep state, feeling poured onto pages and pages, we as Spirit Collective looking for a voice. I remember writing furiously to rid myself of the pain of the Whole, the experience shook me for days and weeks. The house, the car, the job, the things you have are not who you are, they are not what make up your life. Instead it is the knowing smile between you and your significant other, the small hand of a child’s in yours, hugs from your mom or dad. Life consists of the bonds you’ve built with your husband, wife, partner, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, cousins and those you consider family. Relationships are what matter, compassion for others is what matters, commitment to integrity and honesty is what matters.

For those of us who have walked the pain of divorce by choice or not, and stand here today, even if having created a new family environment, we know it is not the same. You know what it means when I use the words “rips and tears,” and “great divide.” Today, hold yourself and those around you in compassionate loving thought and forgiveness, Spirit Collective manifested on Earth remembering we aremore than this…

“Plant love in your garden. Kindness and sympathy flow from the heart of love, and human goodness follows divine realization at every turn in life’s road. Kindness and understanding are divine flames lighted from the altar of love, upon which burns the Light Eternal.

Go often into your garden. Sitting under the Tree of Life in cool, quiet communion, you will find fresh inspiration. God will go forth anew into creation through you. ”  excerpted fromThis Thing Called You  by Ernest Holmes

No Worries

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A couple of weeks ago one of my children asked for a loan. I hesitated telling him I needed a couple of days to think on it. This would allow me meditative time to see how it “felt.” I find that if I wait and listen the answers appear. Days later, I felt comfortable saying yes and lent him the money knowing all would be well. This cash was earmarked to pay a portion of my real estate taxes. Hence the hesitation.

Unforseen circumstances have affected his ability to pay me. Still I trusted my instinct and feelings. When I received the tax bill it was less. The bill was the exact dollar amount less that my son had borrowed. I was joy-filled. Ha! Why? Because it was so serendipitous, so divine, such a gift. I had enough for the remainder of the bill, he has plenty of time to pay, and all is well.

Over the years, serendipitous events have happened, but none so “in your face,” so exact. The next decision or challenge you face, sit quietly, give yourself time to reflect and hear. Listen and trust what you feel. We are more than this…

Matthew 6:25-34 NKJV

Do Not Worry

25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; 29 and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

31 “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.