Tag Archives: self-awareness

And All Is Well

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earth-angel-josephine-wall

Earth Angel by Josephine Wall

 

A member of the community I work for passed away last week. It’s a small community where each member has known the other for years and years… Close-knit and interwoven, there is a hole now where she once was. Ever faithful, loving and kind, she is missed by all.

Living consciously as both Spirit and physical being, I know with conviction that only her body is gone. She lives on, a being unique in character who now flows as one with Spirit, God, all-encompassing Love. My intuitive and clairaudient gifts kicked in the morning she died.  I was hanging laundry and sensed she had passed. I wondered if I should call my colleagues. I didn’t, instead I left to run errands. Jumping out of the car at the store I felt her with me and an encompassing, exuberant joy, “Tell them I am pain-free and happy,” I heard inwardly.  No way, I thought back to her. I’m emotionally involved in this. I’m not saying a word. With inner speak I said, “I’ll tell you what, if you really have something you’d like me to pass on, provide a dream, something someone will get and understand.”

That evening I saw a movie with a friend, cleaned up the kitchen and hit the pillows early. And yes, my request was provided. In the dream, I found myself hovering over the chapel where the wake and funeral were taking place for the woman who had died. In flowing energy form, I was with the woman who had died and a group of others who were accompanying us. There was no time so all seemed to be happening at once, the preparations, wake and funeral, a very odd concept when not in the dream or meditative state.

The wake was beautiful and wonderfully attended and the funeral very nicely done. Everything ran very smoothly. As we observed there were thoughts exchanged, speech was not necessary, “You see all is well,”  I was told. Then, I was instructed to let someone in particular know that she needn’t be anxious to get the wake and funeral details done immediately, that she should complete the other things needing attention first and then get to the business of the wake and funeral. Because you see, “it was all going to be fine anyway so what was the use of worrying, why bother fretting over it?”

I lingered with the group for what seemed like a long time and was shown other events that would unfold over the next short period of time. And drat! Those are the pieces I wanted to remember and couldn’t. I brought back only the most vivid of  images and knew I had to pass on the message. I sent a quick text to the intended party and went about getting the work day started. Once I arrived at the office and was settled in, I checked e-mail and sure enough, there was a notice letting us know she had passed away the morning of the previous day.

Like everyone else I am sad she’s no longer with us, but I know with every ounce of my being that she lives on. What stays with me most from the time in the dream state with these loving souls are the moments of great joy and the desire to reassure the living that “all is well and not to fret.”   My spiritual experiences and life journey have brought me to this dual existence where physical and spiritual energy operate simultaneously.  I feel blessed and fortunate to have been provided with such gifts. What dear reader would help you to know that we are more than this?”

“We are participants in a vast communion of being, and if we open ourselves to its guidance, we can learn anew how to live in this great and gracious community of truth.” ~ Parker Palmer

Emerging World of Spirit

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Manifesting the Dreams
Artist – Marie Gargano
http://www.mariececile.com/Energy.htm

 

Every day I read something inspirational from a favorite book, website, daily guide or magazine. This New Year’s Eve reading was so amazingly right on, I have to share. It’s my story and yours. Words from the Book of John, “The Word was in the beginning, and that very Word was with God, and God was that Word.” (1:1) My experience as living Spirit creating my physical self and life choice is built on word. In “Living Christ – Blessed Gift,” my December 24th post, I share an experience where in the spiritual state as a collective we in “…excited conversation, which was transmitted as thought…were planning a path of events that would occur in the physical world.”

I, as my creator, exist as both spiritual and physical. I am a physical image of my spiritual self. There we use thoughts and words to create the physical here. I continue sharing the word with writer Eugene Holden’s New Year’s Eve contemplative prose, which so beautifully speaks to my very experience:

“…When we become conscious of the fact that we are living from the emerging world of Spirit, this makes us responsible for consciously creating a world that the works for everyone. As you go through today’s experience and perhaps you are faced with a challenge, choose to see the good in the situation. Then, speak your word for the highest and the best to come forth. Release your word into the law of the universe, and know that it is done as you belive it to be so.”

Reading these words and believing with conviction that your word will manifest takes practice, practice in that you have thought, spoken, written the words and within time it has come to be in the physical. Scan your life, looking back over the last several years what have you asked for, spoken of and manifested. For myself, during the 80’s it was stability and prosperity for my young family. In the 90’s my spoken and written word using goal setting included obtaining both a Bachelor’s and Master’s. The new millennium reflects my desire to teach and mentor others in moving toward breaking down preconceived barriers in order to blend both spiritual and physical existence. All has come to be with more unfolding as I write.

Spiritual practitioner Eugene Holden continues his inspirational message with:

“…The word you speak not only has power, it is also the power of creation. Your word made flesh…Be mindful, though. The only way for it to be realized with ease and grace is to speak your word with authority, as the master that you are. Be not discouraged by the appearances. Speak your word, and allow it to emerge from the world of Spirit.” SOM, December 2012 p.66

There were times when I might have become discouraged with circumstances in between and betwixt moving from one manifestation to another. I wasn’t thrilled when it became necessary to sell my home in ’05 in order to live more affordably as a single parent. Looking back I realize if I hadn’t sold then, I might have been stuck in today’s market with a very large home I could no longer afford to pay for or maintain. Or in 2010 when I was forced to make a job change in order to be home with my family when an employer added travel to my position. The job I later accepted and currently hold has allowed me so many more opportunities, both professionally and spiritually. We may quickly become discouraged not seeing the big picture as our paths change in order to manifest our choices. Look again more closely at the situation or challenge at hand and as you speak your words be patient…we are more than this.

Great Day to Start

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Driving in this morning I found myself thinking about, well about everything. I had the ole’ “monkey mind” thing going on, jumping from one thought to the next not really stopping to ponder any one of them in particular. Good thing is, I caught myself.

So I went back through a few of those thought-topics-things in my life that need attention and picked out a couple of them deciding today would be a great day to start just targeting one to two thoughts, one project at time for a few days until completed, and then move onto what’s next on the list.

Now you know I talk about being mindful all the time, being observant, paying attention to what’s in front of you. And I do, but I move quickly. I think it’s time to slow the pace a little. Over the last six months I’ve slowed it considerably from frantic to fast, now I think  in-the-middle  might be kinda cool. So I’m going to give it a try.

That means monkey-mind thoughts like this morning, “Wow that garage is really a mess, the shredding needs to be done. It really bothers me that those boxes are right smack in front of my face on the shelves when I get in the car every morning. Maybe I should fix the recycling can too, it’s not labeled properly. I wonder if my daughter ever got a winter coat. I better check. What time am I going out for dinner? Better pick something up for the boy. What groceries do I need? When will I shop? Eggs. Soy milk. Pancake stuff. Better get some yogurt butter. I’d like to get to Whole Foods. I wonder if my boss looked at the survey I left on her desk. 7:20 almost there, maybe I can get it edited before the event today. My sister just sent me a text, darn! I forgot to look for those gifts she wanted.”  Oh…shoot. Whoa, I think I have monkey mind. Ahhh…STOP!

Caught myself. Breathe in, breathe out. Slow fast down to…in-the-middle. Pick a couple of things and do those this weekend and blog it. So here it is. There you have it. I know you do it too. Find an in-the-middle pace that works for you until you can experience what it means to go slower and then hey maybe you, and for that matter I, can get to slow. Slow is probably a reasonable pace that we haven’t done for so long it feels awkward. But maybe something we can all get used to. We are more than this…

“And so taking the long way home through the market I slow my pace down. It doesn’t come naturally. My legs are programmed to trot briskly and my arms to pump up and down like pistons, but I force myself to stroll past the stalls and pavement cafes. To enjoy just being somewhere, rather than rushing from somewhere, to somewhere. Inhaling deep lungfuls of air, instead of my usual shallow breaths. I take a moment to just stop and look around me. And smile to myself….For the first time in a long time, I can, quite literally, smell the coffee.” ~ Alexandra Potter, The Two Lives of Miss Charlotte Merryweather

An Everpresent Gift

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St. Francis

Every morning I wake before the alarm goes off. I have a chime alarm, so it’s a gentle awakening. If I don’t turn it off it chimes at five minutes, four minutes, three, two, one, then repeatedly. Having this system gives me time to reflect on dreams I may have had, or time to meditate. It starts the morning off right, gently and contemplatively. Once the house is moving I need that quiet energy experienced just an hour earlier to keep me centered, not rushing or trying to cram even more into an already bustling environment.

There are many days I’d like to put the busy schedule aside to sit quietly in meditation for an hour or more but the thought of getting up at 4:00 a.m. holds no interest for me. Ugh. Truth be told, I am not a morning person at all. I’m a mid-day person. I can crank out more work between the hours of 10 and 4 than any other part of the day. It’s my rock and roll time.

Recently I’ve added fifteen minutes of outdoor practice during mid-afternoon. I walk the prairie and woods or sit on the bench near the St. Francis statue surrounded by the sounds of wind in the trees, tall grasses and lots of bird song.  Absolute heaven. I return to the office refreshed and ready to complete the work day.

Once home from the office, I start to slow the pace, run any errands, make dinner, do the dishes, fit in some readings and then it’s meditation time again. That’s where I put my hour, right before heading for the pillows. I intend to move it at some point. The ability to meditate then examine images, messages or events that may have occurred is very appealing. Currently I have this ability only on Saturday and Sunday’s and just like anyone else I have laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning and playing mom’s taxi on the two-day agenda. It takes planning on my part to have meditation as a priority and the time to reflect.

Being still, making a daily practice to be silent is a gift to self. It brings an increased awareness and sensitivity to the beauty surrounding us in relationships, the comfort of our homes and in nature’s canvases. Meditation provides opportunity to step away from the outside noise and allow answers to unfold from the Wisdom self. Over time there grows a deep inner peace with self and the world that gets carried throughout the day. How can you resist opening this ever-present gift? A gift that provides you connection to peace-filled moments in both physical and spiritual realms.

Practice. Make it a habit. Start with a few minutes a day and grow it just like you would the gardens in your life. It is a benefit to mind, body and spirit. Connect, be at peace. We are more than this…

“Above all, be at ease, be as natural and spacious as possible. Slip quietly out of the noose of your habitual anxious self, release all grasping, and relax into your true nature. Think of your ordinary emotional, thought-ridden self as a block of ice or a slab of butter left out in the sun. If you are feeling hard and cold, let this aggression melt away in the sunlight of your meditation. Let peace work on you and enable you to gather your scattered mind into the mindfulness of Calm Abiding, and awaken in you the awareness and insight of Clear Seeing. And you will find all your negativity disarmed, your aggression dissolved, and your confusion evaporating slowly like mist into the vast and stainless sky of your absolute nature.”  ~ Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

Circle of One

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I had an amazing experience yesterday during meditation. An event felt with such clarity I share it in the hope that you also will take time to sit quietly in order to discover more about yourself, connection with Spirit and about living.

After imaging through a series of colors I had reached a state of quiet calm.  There I saw a circle of individuals around me…one of the individuals was in fact me. “I” was observing my physical self yet simultaneously existing as both the observer and the person being observed. I, as physical self, felt a wave of compassion as the circle observed my life experiences and saw the child behind the woman who had been raised in a home with an alcoholic parent. Both the child and woman carried wounds in the form of fragility and sadness.

What triggered this experience while in meditation was the country song “Blown Away,” done by Carrie Underwood. I’ve been hearing this frequently on the radio. It’s the story of a young girl growing up with an alcoholic father. The video for the song shows a storm approaching with tornado sirens blaring. After watching the music video I found there was a resurfacing of the memories and emotional wounds carried as a child. It is not that I have buried the experiences, they rise and fall as they will, I accept, observe and then let them go. Watch the video for yourself, it’s quite powerful (use the back button to return to this Blog):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJgoHgpsb9I

As the meditation continued to unfold with my existing in duality, the Circle of One spoke in a union of voices, “Be compassionate toward your self. Give your self comfort. Respect and love the child who experienced what are now memories carried as an adult woman.” They reached out in waves of compassion, holding me close, all the while illustrating how here in the physical I must also consciously embrace the child and now woman in loving care rather than just putting the surfaced memories aside. What a profound experience.

At the same time there were images and words requesting I share this with you dear readers, that I encourage you to find the time to sit quietly and connect with the Spirit Collective, with the Circle of One. Hold yourself and the memories that rise to the surface in loving care and compassion. The entire experience spoke to how we are hard on ourselves, driven to let the past go in order to move forward. Embrace your memories and your self with compassion and love, we are very obviously not alone in this endeavor. We are more than this…

“Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be…Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll live as you’ve never lived before.” ~ Erich Fromm

Live Kindness

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This morning a colleague was sitting in my office sharing ideas for a new historical display. She wants to highlight women in our organization who have done random acts of kindness. “I know there are those who have done great things and have accomplished much for the community, but what about those who have shown acts of kindness that have never been acknowledged? That’s what I want to capture with pictures and words, those individuals who live their kindness,” she said.

Wow. What a great gift. I know she’ll dig through the archives and come up with wonderful pictures of women from our community helping others across the U.S. and the globe, as well as right here in our own hometowns. After she left my office resonated with the passionate energy she has for this project. I soaked up that energy thinking about the little things people do for me and wondering, had I acknowledged them? What about my own actions? Am I doing anything for others daily? Have I let kindness become enmeshed and ingrained enough so that its in all actions? Do I live as part of the Spirit Collective knowing that the person in front of me is my sister or brother? And you? Are you living your kindness? If so, in what ways? We are more than this…

“I am bred of heaven. And though earth grows more distant in me, I am meet for the worlds you have appointed for me today. Show Your kindness through me. Write welcome upon my face. Set invitation adrift in the tides of my blood. Fan the deep ovens of my faith to flames til I am warm to the touch, right for feasting in a world of famine…

May love give you access to the higher instincts within you, those we share with divinity, that we may have lost in our distractions…”                ~ David Teems

Let Go and Live!

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Many years ago I dreamt I was walking with an “elder.” I asked her, “Will I ever be happy?” Her response, “Well, you won’t be unhappy.” I pushed her to tell me more. “How long will I live?”

“You may live to here,” pointing to a large tree, the spot indicated 85 years. “But it’s possible you may live to here,” moving her hand up the tree to another location indicating 95 years. “It all depends on your attitude. You’ve pushed aside many of the options offered to you,” the elder continued.

I remembered this dream just last week when presented with a clairaudient nudge to call someone who was no more than an acquaintance. Over and over again I heard, “Open up, look larger, let go!” I resisted with the set of experiences and baggage I carry around. I resisted and as I did, I remembered the dream and the “It depends on your attitude” statement. I decided to go for it, to let go of what I feel are my controls and make the call. My thoughts, “I have nothing to lose. This person might become a friend rather than just someone I see a few times a year. Let go, let go, let go. Something good may come of this. Just listen and let go.”

It was necessary for me to imagine several times a day that I was falling into the safety of a caring Spirit, my Wisdom Self who can see the larger picture. Over and over again since that day, I have pictured laying back into wisdom trusting that all will unfold as it should. And guess what’s happened? Stuff. Stuff happened. Events unfolded I could not have imagined. They’ve led me into a new friendship I had not previously considered and probably wouldn’t have generated on my own.

And. Every day I see the barriers, the control panel, the desire to say, “No really, this isn’t for me. I’m not doing this.” When I do, when I think this way, there is the inner voice again, “Stay open, fall into these experiences, let go and live! Live!” It’s been much easier to stay in tune with the Wisdom Self when I look back and affirm that when I listened, things happened. Remember, stay mindful, listen, let go and live! An adventure is waiting! We are more than this…

“As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of your own thoughts, you hold the key to every situation…by which you may make yourself what you will.” ~ James Allen

Perfect Sense

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Sculpture by David Kracov

Yesterday I felt a subject at the tip of my brain, then it was gone…then some thoughts playing, dancing through me, teasing, then gone again. I’m often inspired through the course of a day by a song I’ve heard in the car on the way to work, a random thought that occurs just in talking with someone or an article I’ve read that pushes at the inner door. Ready to head home, with a frustrated sigh I decided I wouldn’t write at all when I got home since the topic seemed so evasive.

As I packed my things  I spotted a book on the window ledge I’d been meaning to drop in the mailroom for anyone to grab and read. Picking it up, I glanced at the inside cover wondering if I should put my name in it so it might be returned. There in front of me on the cover page, two words were scrawled, “Perfect Sense.” I’d written them on the page over a month ago while sitting in the car at a stoplight. I had no paper so I grabbed the book out of my bag and hurriedly scribbled knowing I would need the words later.

Looking at the page, I read the words with entirely different meaning than when I’d written them. Instead of “perfect sense,” meaning good logic, I read “sense” as an actual sense like feel, taste, hear, see — only it, the word was not in relation to any one individual of these senses, instead it was relative to my state of being alive as Spirit in this physical form using all and every sense. The words “Perfect Sense,” capitalized represented complete conscious awareness fully living, or the Perfect “Sense” for Spirit to manifest! Amazing, absolutely in your face amazing.

Don’t you just love being alive and more than this…

“Follow your bliss, and doors will open for you that you never knew existed. Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” – Joseph Campbell

Intoxicating Possibility

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In the early years of skill discovery it was difficult to focus on any one concept, I wanted to understand all of what I could do, to know how energy healing, aura reading, psychometric readings and precognative dreaming worked. I wanted something, anything that would compartmentalize and humanize spiritual activity. Forty years of searching has led me to understand that the spiritual root of self is central to living as human, it is our very core.

What I’ve learned is that we haven’t lost the core connection. It moves with us, acting like a thread or tether to the Whole never broken, ever-present, ever strong. Generally, we are offered the family’s belief system, cultural preferences, and life path options with nudges from parents or significant others holding us close. Not surprisingly, the actual rediscovery of core connection to the Whole is up to each of us individually. It is a self-discovery path we walk alone. Imagine how different living physically might have been if we had tapped into the Spirit Collective from an early age.

Over lunch this week with a like-minded colleague, I discussed my quest for understanding free will, the life path and Spirit collaboration. I also shared a number of dreams from my journal regarding life path choices. For example, some years after my mother returned to Spirit, I had a dream revealing several options she had to choose from while living on Earth. Each life path she might have lived was different from the other, however they all had a common thread, she lived with and died of lung disease. In another recent dream, where I again raised the question of free will before entering the dream state, I was shown a young woman who was painfully thin and didn’t like her body. She also had a number of choices for life paths, all included living as a thin woman. These examples follow my previous logic, that we are born into circumstances previously chosen in the Spirit Collective state, with the ability to choose from a variety of paths, creatively orchestrating daily events, ultimately creating who we are in the present moment.

After a lengthy conversation, my colleague and I found the discussion opened a Pandora’s box of questions. I share just a few of them here:

  • If we were more connected with Spirit Collective (or what I’ve come to call our Wisdom Self), would it be possible to collaborate consciously in order to create a rewarding life path and/or to assist in co-facilitating personal growth in others?
  • I have several friends living with dis-ease. Would it be possible to collaborate with Spirit consciously to determine best course of action here in the physical for assisting others on their life journeys as they continue in life or through the transition period back to Spirit?
  • How would life be different? Might we better understand the gifts we’re born with and choose occupations based on the gifts?
  • Would we work together in large groups to discern next steps for our culture, for our world?

And finally, would there be discussion and decisions at the Spirit Collective level that seep through the core threads tethering each of us to our Wisdom Self in order for us to consciously recognize and grow with constant, steady nurturing? What a wonderous reality this could be if we were consciously aware each moment of being more than this…

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so foaming, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility! ~~ Soren Kierkegaard

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Torso 11 “Hong Kong” by Naoka Tosa 2012

 

Last Sunday morning, I entered into meditation with a specific intent…wanting to know more about what it means to have free will? Are the choices we make really our decisions? Or is what we experience predetermined? I know with certainty that we are physical representations of Spirit Collective manifesting as individual selves. I know we collaborate in the spiritual realm by working together, sharing and planning what we will experience as human. So, I am left with this nagging question, “What is it we choose living as physical beings on our life path if we are making decisions on another level about what to experience?”

After moving into quiet silence to sit with my question, the meditation unfolded.  Immediately I was shown images of a body clothed head to toe in a patchwork of experiences and words, living snapshots of life. The patchwork appeared to make up physical self. I interpreted this image as representative of our liberty to choose experiences and the words impacting us as we walk the path born into.

Another image quickly followed, garments of flowing colors representing underlying character draped over hangers.  There were several of us browsing the many-colored themes, hues of blue, orange, yellows, and more, flowing energies of color that we wear. Having performed hundreds of aura readings over the years, I’ve recognized that we carry underlying color themes. For instance healers most often walk with hues of green, which indicate a natural healer. Sitting in the presence of a green-themed person can be a very restful, peaceful, healing experience.

A client I work with consistently emanates an underlying turquoise aura, which indicates a dynamic, highly energized personality, who easily influences other people. Individuals with a turquoise theme are multitaskers and good organizers. They have a tendency to feel bored when forced to concentrate on one thing. This completely fits the client I was reading. She is outgoing and charismatic with a strong work ethic, works in a position where it is necessary to jump from one task to the next and absolutely detests paperwork.

Despite theses meditative images, the question still nags at me. I’ve interpreted the images to mean that we are born into a circumstance with an underlying color theme and the ability to choose from a myriad of experiences as we move through life, experiences which then form memories and words that shape who we are at any given moment. Understanding free will and choice remains puzzling. I want to know more. What choices are we born with? How much freedom do we have in shaping our lives? What is predetermined, if anything?

When on this kind of quest I don’t stop until there is complete clarity and I can share information with others confidently. I’ve asked for continued mentoring and teaching in both the dream as well as meditative states regarding free will living in the physical world. I know the knowledge will come. So stay connected dear reader, we are more than this…

“We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side by-side horses — one foot is on the horse called ‘fate,’ the other on the horse called ‘free will.’ And the question you have to ask every day is–which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it’s not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?”
―    Elizabeth Gilbert,   Eat, Pray, Love

On a Free-Will Quest