Tag Archives: peace

Solar Energy

Standard

It was incredibly gorgeous today.  Sunshine, warm temps, nearly 50.  I sat in the sun, writing, feeling so fortunate, blessed, Grace brought me here.  At first, in the beginning, it was into not feeling so great all the time (fibro flares) …  to giving up my coulda-been-for-life job.  It’s been a tough journey, but look where I am… sitting in a sunny window doing something I love (with my faithful pup friend Frankie).  What more could I ask for?  Maybe another homemade mocha with lots of vanilla and whipped cream.

sun in hand

 

Friends, family, a compassionate physician who mixes East-West medicine to find the best approach, I’m one blessed chicklet.  “Pollyanna” at heart, you will find me ever optimistic finding the best in every situation, and the sunniest window to sit and soak up solar energy.  It really does help.  Promise.  Do it.

Advertisements

Did you work this week?

Standard

 

Did you work this week?  Or did you opt to take time off since it is the new year and all that jazz. Working freelance, I have the option to work up to forty hours.  This week, I was really torn.  Do I work or not work.

New Year’s Eve, I decided to do six hours.  New Year’s Day, none, zero, zilch.  Time to take down Christmas while I had time (wait, I work from home, don’t I always have time? short answer… no)  So I didn’t work-work.  I did house-work.  And yesterday? Argh… worked part of the day.  So it’s time to play catch up.

I felt incredibly guilty for taking time off!  I jumped out of the workforce rat-race for a reason, to take care of me.  To focus on having more fun, read more books, drink more cafe mochas.  But here I am feeling guilty, letting the old programming grab me.  Get to work!   I worked today.  Tonight I felt good about it.  Idk… the guilt is still bothering me about the time off.  The voice in my head, But you only did 20 hours this week, think of all the money you might have made… Stop. Just stop.

It’s not always about the money.  I sat in the sun.  I read two books.  I wrote.  I set up my little art studio in a corner of the family room.  I meditated and added songs to my playlist.  I talked with friends.  And tomorrow’s Friday.  I’ll work tomorrow… at least part of the day. 

I’m rambling… Did you work this week?

Never Broken, She Persisted

Standard

Centered

I am a vivid dreamer, able to fill dream journals with pages and pages of dreams, many about myself, sometimes about others, and still other dream stories are about the country or world events.  When I have a particular dilemma or question about life, I will write it in my dream journal and wait for an answer.

Recently without prompting or questions, I dreamt that I was working with a team of people creating life experiences for a woman.  The events were meant to challenge her in every way, experience after experience, one after another, sometimes more than one occurring on top of another.  Layer after layer, one upon another, complex and highly intense. Each experience meant to peel and pull, to break away the characteristics of the woman… Until she was clean… Until she was clear and transparent… Ready to begin again.

The woman was never broken, instead she persisted.  She allowed and accepted.  She went through the experiences one after another, layer upon layer from the beginning to the now. Throughout the peeling and pulling breaking down process she came to be free… Free from the burdens each experience had brought forth in memories.

Now, she appeared before us all like calm waters, crystal-clear and accepting… Childlike in that she was now a vessel for what newness would begin. As I rose from the dream feeling indifferent, I thought it was just a dream about a woman.  But it wasn’t about just a woman.  I realized it was me.  I am this woman.  I am naked, clean, soul stripped bare, transparent, empty and calm, ready for the new beginnings that lay ahead.

Yes, I am — Let it begin.

Living Color

Standard

Try colors for meditation, using lovely memories to bring you to a place of peace.

Reach inward, to your healing place, a step at a time imagined, sideways, upward, down a staircase, whatever direction works for you and breathe…

Breathe in…Swwww, “Red.” Breathe out. Whwww…Image of my now familiar staircase descending to the unconscious mind, each smooth step a vivid color, a railing to guide the hand of my spiritual body. Stepping onto the first step, a lipstick red, the kind you’d see on Marilyn, yeah, Monroe…the Charm lollipop cherry smell, mmmm…yum. The color rises from the step, enveloping me in its vibrancy; I am encased in a red haze.

Breathe in…Swwww, “Orange.” Breathe out, Whwww…Another step down to orange, tangy, tasty orange like the oranges at the Farmer’s Market, split open to sample…the color rises from the step, enveloping me in its sparkling juices, I am sheathed in a cloud of orange energy.

Breathe in…Swwww, “Yellow.” Breathe out, Whwww…glide to the next, yellow sunshine, lemons, lemon drops, sweet and sour all at the same time, yellow buttons, yellow raincoat, yellow shiny slicker boots, the color rises in swirling ribbons closing over me, holding me in an armor of golden light.

Lightness of being, I have an itch, “No not now, I’m meditating, go away, let me be, I love my time away from burden, life, matter.” Breathe in…Swwww, “Green.” Breathe out, Whwww…down again, green, clean green, healing green, blades of young grass against tender arches, scents of climbing trees, hot days, willow branches, children’s laughter, “Higher Cee, come on you chicken!”  Brother Bruce shouts to me. The color rises, a transparent mist closing over me, healing.

Down a step, Breathe in…Swwww, “Blue.” Breathe out, Whwww…turquoise hues, ocean water against beaches of broken, jagged, “ouch” hurt your foot shells. Ahhh…but the comfort of blue, Easter eggs waiting to be found, just behind the bushes, “Look, look Cee, there…no don’t give up. Ah! You’ve found it!” Filling my basket now with hues of blue. Come now, time for sleep, comfy stuffed lamb blue on the cheek, open-mouthed Hhhhhhhh, deep, deep into sleep…breathe out. The color rises, a cloud of blue, I am at peace, such quiet peace.

Breathe in….Swwww, “Indigo.” Breathe out, Whwww…Crayons! Purple crayons, waxy smells in crisp, clean coloring books with glossy new covers, don’t let the cover get wrinkled. Deep Indigo hippie 1969 skirt with glistening mirrors around the hem and small jingle bells tied to the waist, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jethro Tull, Purple Haze, Deep Purple, Indigo girl, that’s me. The color rises, purple haze towers over my head, and I’m nearly there, one more step.

Breathe in…Swwww, “Lavender.” Breathe out, Whwww…Lilac’s lavender outside the window, now inside riding the waves of warm air streaming through transparent sheers, childhood memories of lilacs in Ball jars all over the house, in the kitchen, family room, bathrooms, everywhere…mother’s favorite. Her lavender lotion, lavender walls, mother’s room, mother’s arms, mothers love, the color’s aroma rises over me, surrounded in comfort I’ve arrived, the landing, double doors before me.

Feeling at peace, doors open, stepping into quiet, wraparound love, I rest.