Tag Archives: friendship

She Lived

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Etching by Gustave Dore

Etching by Gustave Dore

 

A dear friend of mine passed away a week ago after an 8 year struggle with cancer. She has gone beyond the veil. I was fortunate enough to have spent some long periods of time with her this year. I realized this morning that during these last few months, with health and abilities declining, she didn’t lose her “spark.” Because of this, I actually missed the fact that she was losing the battle with cancer. My first thought… I was in denial. However, reflecting on our conversations I see now that yes, her body was declining, but she was the same person she had always been, loving, caring, joyful, positive, conversational and very funny. Her body changed but she didn’t, so I didn’t see that she’d be leaving us soon. I missed it completely.

We worked together over a period of ten years, developing a friendship after she resigned due to cancer treatment and declining health. When we spent time together, she would catch me off guard with her humor talking about “this cancer” or life events that had occurred. Life events that would have thrown most of us into a deep dark tizzy she handled with calm grace. I learned from her. The gracefulness, trust and humor illustrated in her words and actions quietly, without notice, sifted into my own approach to life. Gifts I didn’t realize she’d gently passed to me. I wonder if she knew herself? If she saw the change…

What I will remember most from our time together over the last five years is the laughter, the stories and memories we’d share about the old workplace, family or pets. She’d have this grin on her face, and sometimes would stop talking altogether because we’d think the same thing… pause and wham!  We’re both laughing to the point of tears. What a hero! … I miss her already. Thank you dear friend for sharing your life-journey with me. Thank you for laughing and crying with me, thank you for showing me that we are more than these bodies, more than the events that make up our lives, that we are indeed living spirit experiencing life and most of all that we are more than this… Life’s journey is a workshop for the Spirit!

We will see each other again.

Living Integrity

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Integrity. Do you hear this word used in everyday language? It frequently appears in a company’s mission, vision or values, but in everyday writing or speaking, not so much. Living with integrity requires moving through life with mindfulness. It requires acting from the depth of your being, with honest intention and actions, you know, thought, word, deed and all that.

It took me a while to get to a place of living with integrity using mindfulness. This requires attention to thought, to the words that come out of your mouth and to the actions that follow. I’ve found the more I run on autopilot, the less I’m able to pay attention to what’s going on the inside and the outside.

Acting with integrity means examining the words before they fly out. Words have power, words can have sharp edges, or not. See? Your choice. Will you let those words go? Is it really necessary? Or can you simply make your thoughts known in a more respectful manner?

Over the last couple of days there have been challenges in the way I’ve reacted to a personal situation. Truthfully I wanted to lash out and remind this individual of their resemblance to a donkey’s…well, you get the idea. After sharing the experience with a close friend, she provided a stream of verbs and nouns that she thought would be more appropriate for my use. They contained many f’s, n’s and b’s. I’ll leave it to your imaginations.

Those who know me well know that I see the best in people. I am “Pollyanna” at heart. I was once told this is my biggest character flaw, because I can’t see when people aren’t genuine, when they’re lying, cheating or pretentious and ultimately end up hurt by their actions. It does happen occasionally. Someone will slip past me with their fake angel wings and I fall for it, but not for long because their actions will inevitably glare back at me causing an ah-ha moment…damn another one bites the dust.

Living in Spirit with mindfulness leading the way, knowing we are all part of the Whole, I see people as good and treat all with respect. Once there’s discovery of some not so nice behavior, it’s really my choice as to whether I will continue in the relationship with that person, or walk on without them on the life journey. In the end, I’m left with these amazing people. Women and men who live with honesty in their word and deed, with integrity and deeply embedded in Spirit, those who have stayed true to living mindfully. And I am most grateful for your presence.

Have a fabulously blessed Tuesday dear readers! Stay mindful.

We are more than this…