Last night the campus security officer patrolling the hall stopped in to say hey. I’ve seen him around but don’t know him all that well. Our hours are completely opposite. He saw the pictures of my kids on the credenza and asked about their ages, what they do and where they go to school. I gave him the cliff notes and promptly turned back to the work I wanted to finish before leaving for the day. Looking around the office he says, “I bet you’re one of those women who goes home, cooks dinner and then sits down in front of the TV to eat and watch Oprah.”
“I don’t watch Oprah,” I said, looking down at my work.
“Oh, ok, then, probably The View, or Dancing with the Stars, or Biggest Loser or TMZ,” he rambles on.
Still working, I look up at him and just stare thinking, “What a complete idiot.” Wanting to lunge across my desk at him, I calmly stated, “No, I go home, make dinner for my son and I, and then I write, walk, or if I don’t have to work the next day, I head out to dance. I might catch a movie on Netflix.” The interesting thing about this exchange is that while it was happening, I could feel where the wanting to lunge at him was coming from. In the end you can see I kept my composure and was very diplomatic. I used being in the moment and mindfulness to filter my own thoughts and words before acting on them.
I love that saying, “To assume makes an ass out of u and me.” It’s so appropriate here. I’m a petite blonde, dress professionally and while at the office always behave in a business-like manner. However much of my life, I’ve been viewed as the stereotypical cute dumb blonde thing, even when my behavior is quite the opposite. It seems this stereotype is following me into middle-age and beyond. This is where the wanting to lunge across the desk at him comes from. I have always dressed and behaved professionally, so why does this continue? It can only be the autopilot thinking that comes along with living as human.
Very obviously this gentleman has no idea how to filter his thoughts or words before they escape his lips. He spoke from his own experience with no thought that what he was saying might be considered offensive. In my post Living Integrity, I talk about choosing thought, word and deed carefully.
“Acting with integrity means examining the words before they fly out. Words have power, words can have sharp edges, or not. See? Your choice. Will you let those words go? Is it really necessary? Or can you simply make your thoughts known in a more respectful manner?”
Living in Spirit means using filters, it requires mindful choices, deliberate words and actions. Check your mouth at the door like you check your teeth after eating to make sure nothing is stuck in them that might be undesirable. We are all part of the Whole, be kind to one another.
” When we operate from the realization of self-responsibility, we are empowered to create an experience of life that is creative, meaningful, joyful and of service to the Whole. This is our true destiny.” ~ Dr. Jim Lockard