Monthly Archives: March 2019

Visions of Destiny

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Katherine Dinger Art

 

It’s been years since I recorded this meditative experience, imagining and capturing the colors as I moved step to step.  I was honored when asked to share with an online Writers Salon, and share it here with you today.  It’s as fresh in my mind today as it was nearly 15 years ago.

Meditative Journal Entry – October 23, 2003

I woke at 8:30 today. Mmmm….Sunday, how delicious to sleep in, soft sheets against my skin and warm comfy blankets, stretching long and hard first, then curling up into a ball, I  sink deeper into the pillow soft mattress…“I think I’ll doze instead of pulling myself out of this heaven.” Pulling deeper into the warmth of a body heated cocoon, I doze, reaching inwardly to my healing room, downward, a step at a time imagined.

Breathe in…Swwww, “Red.” Breathe out. Whwww…Image of my now familiar staircase descending to the unconscious mind, each smooth step a vivid color, a railing to guide the hand of my spiritual body. Stepping onto the first step, a lipstick red, the kind you’d see on Marilyn, yeah, Monroe…the Charm lollipop cherry smell, mmmm…yum. The color rises from the step, enveloping me in its vibrancy; I am encased in a red haze.

Breathe in…Swwww, “Orange.” Breathe out, Whwww…Another step down to orange, tangy, tasty orange like the oranges at the Farmer’s Market, split open to sample…the color rises from the step, enveloping me in its sparkling juices, I am sheathed in a cloud of orange energy.

Breathe in…Swwww, “Yellow.” Breathe out, Whwww…glide to the next, yellow sunshine, lemons, lemon drops, sweet and sour all at the same time, yellow buttons, yellow raincoats, yellow shiny slicker boots, the color rises in swirling ribbons closing over me, holding me in a armor of golden light.

Lightness of being, I have an itch, “No not now, I’m meditating, go away, let me be, I love my time away from burden, life, matter.” Breathe in…Swwww, “Green.” Breathe out, Whwww…down again, green, clean green, healing green, blades of young grass against tender arches, scents of climbing trees, hot days, willow branches, children’s laughter, “Higher Colleen, come on you chicken!”  Brother Bruce shouts to me. The color rises, a transparent mist closing over me, healing.

Down a step, Breathe in…Swwww, “Blue.” Breathe out, Whwww…turquoise hues, ocean water against beaches of broken, jagged, “ouch” hurt your foot shells. Ahhh…but the comfort of blue, Easter eggs waiting to be found, just behind the bushes, “Look, look Colleen, there…no don’t give up. Ah! You’ve found it!” Filling my basket now with hues of blue. Come now, time for sleep, comfy stuffed lamb blue on the cheek, open mouthed Hhhhhhhh, deep, deep into sleep…breathe out. The color rises, a cloud of blue, I am at peace, such quiet peace.

Breathe in….Swwww, “Indigo.” Breathe out, Whwww…Crayons! Purple crayons, waxy smells in crisp, clean coloring books with glossy new covers, don’t let the cover get wrinkled. Deep Indigo hippie 1969 skirt with glistening mirrors around the hem and small jingle bells tied to the waist, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jethro Tull, Purple Haze, Deep Purple, Indigo girl, that’s me. The color rises, purple haze towers over my head, and I’m nearly there, one more step.

Breathe in…Swwww, “Lavender.” Breathe out, Whwww…Lilac’s lavender outside the window, now inside riding the waves of warm air streaming through transparent sheers, childhood memories of lilacs in Ball jars all over the house, in the kitchen, family room, bathrooms, everywhere…mother’s favorite. Her lavender lotion, lavender walls, mother’s room, mother’s arms, mothers love, the color’s aroma rises over me, surrounded in comfort I’ve arrived, the landing, double doors before me.

Feeling at peace, doors open before me, “Now to the dream center. Wait, what is this place?” I stand at the railing of a terrace, cement like, and spindles every few feet…before me a landscape of small mountains, with a forest of many greens. I stand gazing about, “How beautiful. I wonder where I am.” And in that moment of beauty and wonderment, there appeared beside me a woman, my guide and companion while I am waiting. We are both clothed in gauze flowing gowns, simple lines, comfortable in the heat beginning to radiate with the mid-morning sun.

She knows me. She knows this region. I understand I am on another continent, a very lush area. Out across the prairie, reaching the forests that lay before the mountain foothills, there the wild animals run. Across the acres, all manner of animals wander. I would go closer to watch them. I feel a deep desire to explore the fields and towering forests. But the elder guide reminds me, “This area belongs to the wild, not to us, and it is not tame. No my girl, you must stay here within the walls of the compound.”

“Yes, I know, I am to wait for Alexis, my life partner, the man I am to marry.” Still standing against the railing, I’m drawn to the wild. Feeling its pull, I have no desire to stay within the confines of the spiritual teachings compound.

The white haired, gentle woman beside me touches my sleeve, “We are protected only up to these barriers,” pointing out a protection device that shields us from the wild beasts and creatures who roam the natural setting before me. With a rustle of robes, she turns. I follow reluctantly heading back to what I can only describe as a complex, a collection of small square buildings. “It’s quite a walk my lady, I will call for transport assistance to bring us back to the fortress.

“No. I can fly back.” I tell her, hesitating, not wanting to belittle her, knowing she cannot do as I do. My companion is reverent of my skill, respectful, and so she allows me the space to move on, and upward. I fly easily to the next level of steppes, away from the grassy terrace, up the slopes to the compound. Landing briefly, I glide to the yet another level, and then soar high into the vast sky just for the sheer pleasure. I know I will be settled into the compound soon, I am pleased that I have allowed myself this little bit of joy, the small treasure of free flight.

Just a little longer…a little bit longer,” I rise from this blissful meditation, a place unlike our own reality, a place of visions. I stretch again and know it’s time to move into the day. But not before I record my vision experience and the images of the wizened woman who was my guide.

Image by Katherine Dinger
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Step into compassion, step into the face of witness

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There’s an angel hovering in my window. Ok, maybe it’s just the sun’s reflection, but maybe it’s reflecting the aura of what I wouldn’t normally see. I was in the moment. And Spirit knew I needed this on the life path right now. A reminder, the assurance that I’m not walking alone.

My intuition, dreaming, and lucid meditation experiences have proven that we are more than this. We are just the tip of incredibly intricate beings, experiencing life stories together. Choosing each moment how we’ll perceive what’s happening at any given time and realizing we walk together, and not alone makes life easier. If you’re on autopilot, well, you’ll miss the opportunity to make that choice, or see the hidden treasure of witnessing manifested living Spirit.

Ya, life is incredibly difficult sometimes. Hmm… maybe more than sometimes, maybe all the time on some days. Still even in the painful, or exhausting, or oh-my-God why is this happening days… if I just stop. Stop completely. Breathe in, breathe out, become a Witness, observe what’s happening, and look at the different perspectives, weigh options, think about next steps… and then choose a way to see, to act, to realize there are resources in centering, in sitting into quiet observation, to feel the presences of Spirit, it’s easier. Life hasn’t changed. The experiences are still there, but it’s easier because I’ve stopped for a moment to be a witness to the experience, to have compassion for myself and others, to wait quietly with respect, to listen to the treasured whispers of Spirit’s knowledge.

Occasionally, I will just react. No thought given to anything happening. Just give in to the emotion, racing thought, the why-why-why me attitude. Spirit guided sculptures and paintings scattered throughout the house are good reminders to remember that we are more than this. Spirit inspiration in form, like the sculpture I bought some years ago created by the artist dreama j kattenbraker, “Witness”

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“Step into compassion, step into the face of witness…” She is a hollow vessel collecting knowledge through life experiences, outwardly reflecting memories across her worn and weathered body. Eden’s snake of knowledge is around her neck, and the key to her heart still hanging as she’d left it when she opened the door to physical being. Arms extended, Witness welcomes all life, all creatures, all spirit manifested, gazing upward knowing she does not exist alone. Her wings imprinted with words of wisdom…

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“When I become the witness to another soul, I move out of judgement into a place of compassion I am given the senses to taste touch, smell and hear – to collect knowledge. Knowledge demands me to actively care for those I know. Knowledge teaches me to actively love. Please grant me the grace to use knowledge with care and compassion.

Why was knowledge warned against in Eden’s garden? Once I learn someone’s story, burdens, vulnerability, fears, talents – I cannot be ambivalent anymore. I carry this knowledge in my sack. It is both a burden and a paradox. Knowledge demands right action. When I pretend not to know the weight bears down on me like a mountain, a glacier. Thus the warning, “Don’t taste this fruit from the tree of knowledge.” ~ Dreama

“Once I learn someone’s story…” even my own, I can’t be ambivalent anymore. The door to knowing is open and now right action is the only way. “Choose,” life says. The autopilot is off, I’m in the moment, clearly observing.
Becoming aware is a way of life that can’t be undone once you know, once you’re a witness to the unfolding of your life, as well as others. You might slip once in a while, but it’s always there, the knowledge that we are more than these experiences. It makes living so much more interesting.
But answer me this… If you’re not your experiences… Who are you?