Monthly Archives: July 2012

Eternal Present


Today it was hard for me to be still. Mind was flying here and there, flitting from one thought to another, resting a moment and then off again. First I thought it might be because it’s Monday. I had a list of things I wanted to accomplish before the end of the day and really didn’t want to deal with this, whatever it was. After a couple of hours I put my work aside to sit quietly and center.

Staring out the office window toward the trees, I settled on one activity, being still. Stopping for a moment to sit with mind quietly, breathing in, exhale, relax, repeat. Washing out the flitting thoughts one after the other, each fell away until quiet remained and a lone image, it was an image of me. Me, excitedly anticipating life events while I carry out typical, predictable day-to-day duties. Like a little kid waiting for Christmas presents I couldn’t be still.

In that moment of observation, I recognized these were flitting images of things to come, events that will unfold. Rather than scolding mind for skipping about, I clapped hands right along with it in joy, all is well, life is good. Create! Go ahead. Throughout the remainder of the day, my hope was to capture a few of the images to identify people and places. Although they escaped recognition, the excited anticipation remained. In the end, I decided to enjoy. Bringing these awesome feelings to the tasks at hand, I went back to work finishing nearly everything on my list before the end of the day. Recognize the sacred in your day. Those fleeting and flitting moments. We are more than this…

“Because love has the stuff of forever in it, we may enjoy eternity in the present. And though love renders time mute, it makes the moments we have, even the most insignificant of them sacred, for we are answerable to the divinity within those moments. Each brings with it its own opportunity for love. Like a good angel ascending and descending the ladder between heaven and earth, divinity and humanity, between time and timelessness, love has charge in both domains, and makes the two one, allowing you and I to partake of heaven on the dullest of days, in the most unsuspecting time.”    ~David Teems

Let Go and Live!


Many years ago I dreamt I was walking with an “elder.” I asked her, “Will I ever be happy?” Her response, “Well, you won’t be unhappy.” I pushed her to tell me more. “How long will I live?”

“You may live to here,” pointing to a large tree, the spot indicated 85 years. “But it’s possible you may live to here,” moving her hand up the tree to another location indicating 95 years. “It all depends on your attitude. You’ve pushed aside many of the options offered to you,” the elder continued.

I remembered this dream just last week when presented with a clairaudient nudge to call someone who was no more than an acquaintance. Over and over again I heard, “Open up, look larger, let go!” I resisted with the set of experiences and baggage I carry around. I resisted and as I did, I remembered the dream and the “It depends on your attitude” statement. I decided to go for it, to let go of what I feel are my controls and make the call. My thoughts, “I have nothing to lose. This person might become a friend rather than just someone I see a few times a year. Let go, let go, let go. Something good may come of this. Just listen and let go.”

It was necessary for me to imagine several times a day that I was falling into the safety of a caring Spirit, my Wisdom Self who can see the larger picture. Over and over again since that day, I have pictured laying back into wisdom trusting that all will unfold as it should. And guess what’s happened? Stuff. Stuff happened. Events unfolded I could not have imagined. They’ve led me into a new friendship I had not previously considered and probably wouldn’t have generated on my own.

And. Every day I see the barriers, the control panel, the desire to say, “No really, this isn’t for me. I’m not doing this.” When I do, when I think this way, there is the inner voice again, “Stay open, fall into these experiences, let go and live! Live!” It’s been much easier to stay in tune with the Wisdom Self when I look back and affirm that when I listened, things happened. Remember, stay mindful, listen, let go and live! An adventure is waiting! We are more than this…

“As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of your own thoughts, you hold the key to every situation…by which you may make yourself what you will.” ~ James Allen

Perfect Sense


Sculpture by David Kracov

Yesterday I felt a subject at the tip of my brain, then it was gone…then some thoughts playing, dancing through me, teasing, then gone again. I’m often inspired through the course of a day by a song I’ve heard in the car on the way to work, a random thought that occurs just in talking with someone or an article I’ve read that pushes at the inner door. Ready to head home, with a frustrated sigh I decided I wouldn’t write at all when I got home since the topic seemed so evasive.

As I packed my things  I spotted a book on the window ledge I’d been meaning to drop in the mailroom for anyone to grab and read. Picking it up, I glanced at the inside cover wondering if I should put my name in it so it might be returned. There in front of me on the cover page, two words were scrawled, “Perfect Sense.” I’d written them on the page over a month ago while sitting in the car at a stoplight. I had no paper so I grabbed the book out of my bag and hurriedly scribbled knowing I would need the words later.

Looking at the page, I read the words with entirely different meaning than when I’d written them. Instead of “perfect sense,” meaning good logic, I read “sense” as an actual sense like feel, taste, hear, see — only it, the word was not in relation to any one individual of these senses, instead it was relative to my state of being alive as Spirit in this physical form using all and every sense. The words “Perfect Sense,” capitalized represented complete conscious awareness fully living, or the Perfect “Sense” for Spirit to manifest! Amazing, absolutely in your face amazing.

Don’t you just love being alive and more than this…

“Follow your bliss, and doors will open for you that you never knew existed. Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls.” – Joseph Campbell

Peace-Filled Moments


“Meditation is calling, have a peace-filled night,” I said ending a phone conversation with my friend.  His response? “I don’t know what peace is.” Instead of taking the bait I hung up knowing I’d talk with him the next day.

Intense living, worries about children, family, finances, health concerns, global warming, warring in different parts of the world, consuming responsibility is what captures the mind. One step in front of the other, moving forward through each event to the next, where is peace in the midst of it? It’s there. You’re just not making room for it.

Generally outside events control us with little time spent examining inner state of being or thought given to sitting quietly in peace. Go through your day start to finish. Alarm goes off, jump up, shower, dress, out the door to the workplace, or school, or wherever you spend your day. Talking, listening, talking some more, e-mail, cell phones, talking some more, work, lunch, work, talking some more, heading home, cook, eat, TV, computers, news, shows, prepare for tomorrow, sleep, repeat. Where did you fit time to sit quietly, even if just for a few moments?

In response to my friends statement, “I don’t know what peace is,” the next morning I reminded him of how he actually does have moments of  opportunity, many of them. In the course of a day, he spends a good part of it outdoors walking fields and forests, sometimes losing himself in careful footsteps through the woods, up a hill, through a creek. “Yes, you do know what peace is,” I said. “You experience it every time you walk in the woods and forget everything else exists.”

“Well said.” He replied. Well said. His work provided peace, he just needed to pay attention in order to recognize the opportunity. Change up your perspective. That cup of coffee or orange juice you drink over the newspaper or watching the news in the morning, take it outside to the patio and listen to the morning sounds, enjoy five minutes of peace-filled contemplation, observing only what’s in front of you, allowing thoughts of the day to wait…just five minutes. Focus on a tree, the leaves, the birdsong. Or how about in the car? Play favorite music, listen to each note, let the melody flow through you, even if just for five minutes. At the office, after lunch spend just five minutes staring out a window, or with your eyes closed on a park bench outside in quiet meditation.

Change up your routine, start with just five minutes. Before you know it your pace slows, and ah ha, you have found little pockets of peace-filled moments. Do it. Don’t wait. Do it now. Make a conscious choice, practice daily. It’s a beginning. Realize that you are more than this…

“Our true home is in the present moment, To live in the present moment is a miracle. The miracle is not to walk on water, the miracle is to walk on the green earth in the present moment, to appreciate the peace and beauty that are available now. Peace is all around us — in the world and nature — and within us — in our bodies and our spirits. Once we learn to touch this peace, we will be healed and transformed. It is not a matter of faith, it is a matter of practice.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Intoxicating Possibility


In the early years of skill discovery it was difficult to focus on any one concept, I wanted to understand all of what I could do, to know how energy healing, aura reading, psychometric readings and precognative dreaming worked. I wanted something, anything that would compartmentalize and humanize spiritual activity. Forty years of searching has led me to understand that the spiritual root of self is central to living as human, it is our very core.

What I’ve learned is that we haven’t lost the core connection. It moves with us, acting like a thread or tether to the Whole never broken, ever-present, ever strong. Generally, we are offered the family’s belief system, cultural preferences, and life path options with nudges from parents or significant others holding us close. Not surprisingly, the actual rediscovery of core connection to the Whole is up to each of us individually. It is a self-discovery path we walk alone. Imagine how different living physically might have been if we had tapped into the Spirit Collective from an early age.

Over lunch this week with a like-minded colleague, I discussed my quest for understanding free will, the life path and Spirit collaboration. I also shared a number of dreams from my journal regarding life path choices. For example, some years after my mother returned to Spirit, I had a dream revealing several options she had to choose from while living on Earth. Each life path she might have lived was different from the other, however they all had a common thread, she lived with and died of lung disease. In another recent dream, where I again raised the question of free will before entering the dream state, I was shown a young woman who was painfully thin and didn’t like her body. She also had a number of choices for life paths, all included living as a thin woman. These examples follow my previous logic, that we are born into circumstances previously chosen in the Spirit Collective state, with the ability to choose from a variety of paths, creatively orchestrating daily events, ultimately creating who we are in the present moment.

After a lengthy conversation, my colleague and I found the discussion opened a Pandora’s box of questions. I share just a few of them here:

  • If we were more connected with Spirit Collective (or what I’ve come to call our Wisdom Self), would it be possible to collaborate consciously in order to create a rewarding life path and/or to assist in co-facilitating personal growth in others?
  • I have several friends living with dis-ease. Would it be possible to collaborate with Spirit consciously to determine best course of action here in the physical for assisting others on their life journeys as they continue in life or through the transition period back to Spirit?
  • How would life be different? Might we better understand the gifts we’re born with and choose occupations based on the gifts?
  • Would we work together in large groups to discern next steps for our culture, for our world?

And finally, would there be discussion and decisions at the Spirit Collective level that seep through the core threads tethering each of us to our Wisdom Self in order for us to consciously recognize and grow with constant, steady nurturing? What a wonderous reality this could be if we were consciously aware each moment of being more than this…

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so foaming, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility! ~~ Soren Kierkegaard


Torso 11 “Hong Kong” by Naoka Tosa 2012


Last Sunday morning, I entered into meditation with a specific intent…wanting to know more about what it means to have free will? Are the choices we make really our decisions? Or is what we experience predetermined? I know with certainty that we are physical representations of Spirit Collective manifesting as individual selves. I know we collaborate in the spiritual realm by working together, sharing and planning what we will experience as human. So, I am left with this nagging question, “What is it we choose living as physical beings on our life path if we are making decisions on another level about what to experience?”

After moving into quiet silence to sit with my question, the meditation unfolded.  Immediately I was shown images of a body clothed head to toe in a patchwork of experiences and words, living snapshots of life. The patchwork appeared to make up physical self. I interpreted this image as representative of our liberty to choose experiences and the words impacting us as we walk the path born into.

Another image quickly followed, garments of flowing colors representing underlying character draped over hangers.  There were several of us browsing the many-colored themes, hues of blue, orange, yellows, and more, flowing energies of color that we wear. Having performed hundreds of aura readings over the years, I’ve recognized that we carry underlying color themes. For instance healers most often walk with hues of green, which indicate a natural healer. Sitting in the presence of a green-themed person can be a very restful, peaceful, healing experience.

A client I work with consistently emanates an underlying turquoise aura, which indicates a dynamic, highly energized personality, who easily influences other people. Individuals with a turquoise theme are multitaskers and good organizers. They have a tendency to feel bored when forced to concentrate on one thing. This completely fits the client I was reading. She is outgoing and charismatic with a strong work ethic, works in a position where it is necessary to jump from one task to the next and absolutely detests paperwork.

Despite theses meditative images, the question still nags at me. I’ve interpreted the images to mean that we are born into a circumstance with an underlying color theme and the ability to choose from a myriad of experiences as we move through life, experiences which then form memories and words that shape who we are at any given moment. Understanding free will and choice remains puzzling. I want to know more. What choices are we born with? How much freedom do we have in shaping our lives? What is predetermined, if anything?

When on this kind of quest I don’t stop until there is complete clarity and I can share information with others confidently. I’ve asked for continued mentoring and teaching in both the dream as well as meditative states regarding free will living in the physical world. I know the knowledge will come. So stay connected dear reader, we are more than this…

“We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side by-side horses — one foot is on the horse called ‘fate,’ the other on the horse called ‘free will.’ And the question you have to ask every day is–which horse is which? Which horse do I need to stop worrying about because it’s not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?”
―    Elizabeth Gilbert,   Eat, Pray, Love

On a Free-Will Quest

Staying True to Course


    Building and maintaining relationships with others is what matters most in our lives. How we interact with our mom, dad, significant other, son, daughter, extended family, work colleagues, friends, lovers, even random people we come in contact with, each moment has significance and meaning. Last week I was challenged with examining my own knee-jerk reaction. Days later, after sharing what happened with a couple of friends, they responded with, “You’re human. It happens.”

The words I spoke had sharp edges. My reaction was harsh and unnecessary. If I had been more conscious of the moment, I might have handled it differently, but I let emotion take over and the words fly right out of my mouth, syllable after syllable. Ugh. Living consciously with awareness means being gentle with those around us no matter the circumstances. It means treating each individual with love and acceptance, for they are our brothers and sisters in Spirit. Sitting in contemplation and quiet examination I wonder why and how this happened, with great frustration and a little confusion. I wonder how I lost sight of goodness and compassion? I know, I know, I’m “human.” Is that a reason or an excuse? It was my choice to allow this individual to walk with me knowing he would not be a compatible choice. So if there is a fault it’s mine and no other’s.

This morning I acknowledged the choice by going back to the journal entries, scraps, notes and pictures from the last several months that led to this event. Again, very obviously allowing this person into my life was a choice. Allowing circumstances that would inevitably occur was my choice. Choosing the words and speaking them last week, was my choice.

If I’m to stay true to living mindfully and consciously, it seems I need to have a flag that will wave wildly when presented with choices that may require more contemplation than the norm. Consider the International Code of Signals sailor flags (from Wikipedia) and how very appropriate they might be for life as well as sailing. If I had seen his “flags,” I think they might have been “Delta Foxtrot” or  “Keep clear of me; I am maneuvering with difficulty,” and “Communicate with me.” Check out the flags below, which are flying in your face?

We are more than this…

“May the argument within you die. May your soul concern itself with better things. May all layers of it be exposed and vulnerable, til it be wasted by the higher elements in you, til it wither beneath the bright sun of mercy, reconciliation, forgiveness, charity, and selflessness…And when argument dies, what is left? Only love. Therefore, let us cast off what is human, welcome what is divine.”  ~ David Teems, 2004

Letter flags (with International Code of Signals, ICS meanings)

  • A (Alfa)
    “I have a diver down; keep well clear at slow speed.”

  • B (Bravo)
    “I am taking in, or discharging, or carrying dangerous goods.”

  • C (Charlie)

  • D (Delta)
    “Keep clear of me; I am maneuvering with difficulty.”

  • E (Echo)
    “I am altering my course to starboard.”

  • F (Foxtrot)
    “I am disabled; communicate with me.”

  • G (Golf)
    “I require a pilot.”

  • H (Hotel)
    “I have a pilot on board.”

  • I (India)
    “I am altering my course to port.”

  • J (Juliet)
    “I am on fire and have dangerous cargo on board: keep well clear of me.” or “I am leaking dangerous cargo.”

  • K (Kilo)
    “I wish to communicate with you.”

  • L (Lima)
    In harbour: “The ship is quarantined.”
    At sea: “You should stop your vessel instantly.”

  • M (Mike)
    “My vessel is stopped and making no way through the water.”

  • N (November)

  • O (Oscar)
    “Man overboard.”

  • P (Papa)
    In harbour: All persons should report on board as the vessel is about to proceed to sea.
    At sea: “My nets have come fast upon an obstruction.”

  • Q (Quebec)
    “My vessel is ‘healthy’ and I request free pratique.”

  • R (Romeo)
    “The way is off my ship.”

  • S (Sierra)
    “I am operating astern propulsion.”

  • T (Tango)
    “Keep clear of me; I am engaged in pair trawling.”

  • U (Uniform)
    “You are running into danger.”

  • V (Victor)
    “I require assistance.”

  • W (Whiskey)
    “I require medical assistance.”

  • X (Xray)
    “Stop carrying out your intentions and watch for my signals.”

  • Y (Yankee)
    “I am dragging my anchor.”

  • Z (Zulu)
    “I require a tug.”

Arriving Safely


A few weeks ago I dreamt of the “safe” place I’ve been creating in the dream state for years. It’s been under construction since I was 16 years old starting with a cavern in the side of a mountain that could only be reached through a secret door in my grandmother’s attic. We started tunnels back then because we knew someday when the world changed, this place would be ready and waiting for us. Over the years, a group of us have been working on the site in dreams.

It’s ready. The safe site is complete. In this most current dream, I am in an institution of higher learning and shown an event of great proportion that will change the existing world. It will happen soon and will be instant. I ran through the halls choosing a few women I knew were knowledgable of being more than this, women who understood we would be heading for an entrance to a new way of living, a completely new reality.

The four of us ran for my childhood home that had long since been owned by another family. I quickly explained to the family that I’d grown up in the home, told them of the secret panel leading to the safe haven and that we had very little time to get to this safe place. I welcomed them to join us. The family, my colleagues and I ran through the halls, into a bedroom, through the walk-in closet to the secret door. I pushed at the panel until it gave way to a simple passageway that led us to a great cavern sized room. Here we found the others who had been completing preparations for our arrival.

They told us that the finishing touches had just been completed, the carpets had been laid and all was ready. The carpets were ornate, the room cathedral-like and enormous. To our left there were ceiling to floor doors that lead to rolling, grassy hills with blue skies, to our right gigantic windows that faced a turquoise ocean and perfect sunlight. We, the three women and I stood together facing the ocean windows hand in hand. There was a great peace and calm knowing that we had arrived, with a purpose in the new world and this new beginning.

The dream comes at a time in life where all manifested reality speaks of change. My current employment environment where I am embraced by like-minded people, healthy, strong relationships with family and friends, the feeling of security and safety in this diverse, changeable world, all new beginnings. I know that life experiences and the journey has brought me to this very place, this very spot in time. I am exactly where I need to be in order to walk an entirely new path surrounded and walking with like-minded people. All is as it should be. We are more than this…

“…we wonder What or Who calls us into tomorrow…Fortified with focused fires of determination and commitment, we boldly embrace the challenges of change. An adrenaline like grace flows through us, and nothing can deter us from our goal. Dauntlessly we engage all of our energies, and those of the companions gathered with us, to effect transformation. Hope is high as we face the obstacles that rise in our path, knowing in faith that we will be led and companioned here.” ~ Doris Klein, CSA, 2000