There’s a wilderness in each of us, the place we wander when we’ve let ourselves get too exhausted, too peopled out, too buried in responsibility and haven’t practiced a sliver of self-care. Before the Manifested Love experience (May 15th post), I would occasionally feel sadness over not understanding my life purpose. The sadness would appear stealth-like, a quiet almost cloak-like dark peace, but a peace nonetheless. I named this and the emotion that came along with the physical framework, human-ness. It was necessary for me to sit in peaceful contemplation until I knew I could rise up and walk out of it connected with Spirit to begin again, pulling myself out of hibernation. Using words, I named it recovery from living in just human-ness. It was an awakening.
The Manifested Love experience has been the most distinct of all mystical events, a life-changing event. There is a quiet that’s come with leaning into Spirit, the acceptance that all is well no matter how it may appear on the outside with life events whirling all about.
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” Matthew 7:7
This morning I woke up wondering how I was going to complete the monumental number of projects sitting on my desk, deadlines fast approaching. I spoke my concerns during meditation, letting them flow out and away. Arriving in the office, minutes ticking away, I chipped at the projects little by little, then grace appeared. A colleague called saying she’d thought about me falling asleep last night after seeing the sea of paper on my desk the day before. She wanted to know how she could help. “I can put some of my own things aside and help out.”
Not a half hour later another colleague stopped in to say she was willing to help with whatever needed to be done during this crunch time. I sat in amazed gratitude, thanked God for this lovely, lovely grace, and accepted both offers. Leaning into Spirit and letting go, knowing all was well, there it was, amazing grace.
“Come to me all you who are burdened by lack of praise, lack of beauty, lack of vision in your lives. Look about you at the starry heavens and the deep, deep-sea, at the amazing history that has birthed a home for you on this planet, at the surprise and joy of your existence. Gather together — you and your communities — in the context of this great, cosmic community to rejoice and give thanks. To heal and let go. To enter the dark and deep mysteries…Be brave…Never be bored again. Create yourselves, re-create your worlds, by the news you share and the visions you celebrate…” ~ Matthew Fox, The Coming of the Cosmic Christ